What have I done?

 

I have crossed the world for amazing things

I have come to find myself.

I have left mediocrity

 

I have left Pennsylvania

I have moved to California

I have been an innkeeper

I have been a manager

I have rolled with chaos

I have taken hits

I have been worn out

I have fallen off the wagon

 I have gotten back on again

I have found new places

I have made new friends

I have lost new friends

I have negotiated and lost

I have stood up for myself

I have tried to save someone

I have made stupid decisions

I have thrown in the towel

I have put myself first

I have put my kids first

 I have gotten angry

I have gotten desperate

I have

I have been down

I have been in dire straights

I have been alone

I have been in ridiculous circumstances

I have been in need

 I have been lower than low

I have felt alone

I have been elated in my aloneness

I have become independent

I have needed companionship

I have needed to feel young again

I have found my sexuality

I have lost it again

I have become a recluse in my busy-ness

 I have relocated

I am in Washington

I have gotten here

But I am still struggling to believe, to find myself

I have fought against oppression

I have felt the walls closing in

I am trapped

But I am free

I have no easy way out

I have no visible way out

I am lost

 I am insecure

 I am alone

I am strong

 I fight battles all the time

I have hope

I will win

 I will be bigger

I have goals, ambitions, fierce dreams

I have hope