Quality Versus Quantity: The Epic Debate Over Time
Some people try so very hard to prolong life at any cost. Historically speaking, humans have been in search of the fountain of youth for thousands of years, whether it be an actual place or in a serum or a potion. Medical science has been fixated on prolonging life. We have lawsuits over people deciding that they do not want to go to extreme measures to prolong their own lives. But why? Is time really the greatest commodity? Who decides? Who says it is so?
Recently, I watched the movie Jupiter Ascending. A decent action flick, to be sure. The reviews blasted it a little, but overall I thought it was a good Matrix-esque Wasachowski brothers film that touched on a good point: Peoples' fixation with time. One of the characters points to time as the single most important thing in universal existence. But is it really? What is time without quality? Does time really matter in the bigger picture?
This ponderance has come into my life in different ways. A few years ago, I had a bit of a scare. Precancerous cells found during a routine pap smear (ladies, always get your annual screening done!). My doctor performed a procedure known as a colposcopy to determine how serious it was. Well, it was serious enough to take the next step, what is known as a LEEP procedure, to remove the precancerous cells. Thankfully, they got what they thought was all of them. But as the following years went by, I'd get anxious at every subsequent pap and I still do to this day.
There was and is a big positive out of all of this. I began to take less and less for granted and started rethinking my perspective on time. I used to have this attitude of "someday" and "if only," wishing for great things in the future. I'd get impatient over what I had not yet done, thinking I could be greater, would be greater, someday. But after this brush with visceral reality, I started to live a more in the now life and realized the great things I already had.
And then came round two. But this time it wasn't me. It was my best friend, my sweet pup of eleven years, Ranger. We found a melanoma. And it was malignant. They removed it from the roof of his mouth with small but fair margins. Then, we were given the option of giving him a new melanoma vaccine. Good thing, because my husband and I knew we did not want to put him through chemo or radiation, even if it came to that. He means too much to us and we know him well enough to know that his quality of life would not outshine the quantity if we were to do so. We would be trying to prolong for our sake, not his. It would be giving us time, not him. And that would be unfair.
Thankfully, the non-invasive vaccine has been working for over two years now. Ranger is still happy and healthy, a true testament to having made the right choice. Even if it hadn't worked, I feel we would have made the right choice. The choice for quality over quantity. Love over time. Everyone has their own choice to make in this regard.
As a result of these experiences in my life, every day, every moment, I try to treat as a gift. Sometimes I'm a little over-obsessive about it, kissing Ranger at bedtime five times instead of once, knowing that there are things in life that I most definitely have no control over. Time is one of those things.
But there is a balance to be had, I think. I am still learning, realizing that time is a gift, but also learning that it is not the only gift and it means much less than the way in which we spend it. One day, one hour, one moment...the lesson in it all is to appreciate what we are given, let go when it is time, and live it all to the very fullest.